Maybe it seems obvious, but I thought the title of this blog adventure warranted some explanation. I'm sure many of us remember our own parents exclaiming, out of either love or frustration (depending on the situation at hand) "you just wait, one day you'll understand what it's like to be a parent - one day you'll get it!" For me, those words, or some variation of those words, were most often said to me during moments of happiness, a reaction to something positive I had achieved or maybe as part of a thank you for a birthday or Christmas gift. My parents often described the intense feelings of love as something that I would only understand once I had children of my own. Although I appreciated and understood that they were expressing deep love for me, I also did not have the capacity to truly understand what they meant - until - one day - Beckett entered the world. And my entire perspective changed.
Even while I was pregnant, I kept insisting that of course I wanted to go back to work (I mean it didn't matter that it was a necessity). Even though it wasn't an option for me to stay home for a variety of reasons, for some reason it kept coming up in conversations with my mother. "Mom," I would say in that exasperated tone that sounds just like a bratty teenager even at age 33 - "Mom, I WANT to work - it's important to me to earn money – it’s part of who I am - it's important to me to continue to contribute to society in this way..." And many of you are probably going (as I am now) "blah, blah, blah" because now we all know that staying home with your children is not about even the work that you do while with them - it's the TIME you are PRIVILEDGED to spend with them if you do not have to go to work. And raising a wonderful, well-rounded, well-adjusted child is one of the best ways to contribute to society.
OK – so I’m getting ahead of myself – I have many, many sub-topics around “getting it.” They will guide and influence and provide fodder for future posts. For now, I just needed to express that now I soooooo get it – and how I define "getting it" IS what this blog is all about.
Great blog post, Laurel! Yes, I "get it" now times two. Being a Mom is incredible. I'm sure you are great... Beckett is so lucky to have you.
ReplyDeleteBeing a parent has also changed my perspective as a teacher. I used to think that dealing with parents of my students was hard because they were out to get me or make my life hard. Now I get that they just love their kids and want the best for them!
ReplyDeleteOh, Laurel. Saying 'I get it' doesn't seem intense enough for me to get my point across. I, too, share in your delight. Just hearing my daughter say "Melmo" whenever she sees that red furry creature on TV (otherwise known as Elmo) makes me weak in the knees. And don't even get me started on the boy!!!
ReplyDeleteLove you,
Jody
Hello commenters!
ReplyDeleteI can't figure out how to reply to each of your comments separately - but I just wanted to say thanks for A) reading my blog and B) taking the time to make a comment. It means a lot to me!
To veebee - thanks for your kind words about the post itself - the positive feedback helps me stay confident that my writing is at least OK!
To kess - I will keep your comment in my mind years from now when I may need to have hard conversations with teachers - thank goodness you are one of those teachers who cares enough about the kids to work with their challenging parents!
And to Jody - think of the intensity you can probably hear in my voice when we have talked in the past - it's more like "OOOOOOH, NOW I GET it" - you know, emphasis on "now" and "get" - I know what you mean though - at first, those simple words didn't seem to convey intensity but in so many conversations with my parents and other older adults, I found myself saying it all the time!