Maybe it seems obvious, but I thought the title of this blog adventure warranted some explanation. I'm sure many of us remember our own parents exclaiming, out of either love or frustration (depending on the situation at hand) "you just wait, one day you'll understand what it's like to be a parent - one day you'll get it!" For me, those words, or some variation of those words, were most often said to me during moments of happiness, a reaction to something positive I had achieved or maybe as part of a thank you for a birthday or Christmas gift. My parents often described the intense feelings of love as something that I would only understand once I had children of my own. Although I appreciated and understood that they were expressing deep love for me, I also did not have the capacity to truly understand what they meant - until - one day - Beckett entered the world. And my entire perspective changed.
Even while I was pregnant, I kept insisting that of course I wanted to go back to work (I mean it didn't matter that it was a necessity). Even though it wasn't an option for me to stay home for a variety of reasons, for some reason it kept coming up in conversations with my mother. "Mom," I would say in that exasperated tone that sounds just like a bratty teenager even at age 33 - "Mom, I WANT to work - it's important to me to earn money – it’s part of who I am - it's important to me to continue to contribute to society in this way..." And many of you are probably going (as I am now) "blah, blah, blah" because now we all know that staying home with your children is not about even the work that you do while with them - it's the TIME you are PRIVILEDGED to spend with them if you do not have to go to work. And raising a wonderful, well-rounded, well-adjusted child is one of the best ways to contribute to society.
OK – so I’m getting ahead of myself – I have many, many sub-topics around “getting it.” They will guide and influence and provide fodder for future posts. For now, I just needed to express that now I soooooo get it – and how I define "getting it" IS what this blog is all about.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
The Beginning of Posterity
When my daughter Beckett was born on June 11, 2008, many, many people told me to "write down EVERYTHING...because there is so much to remember yet so much you'll forget." I used to fancy myself a writer (undergraduate degree in English Lit with the dream of one day writing the "great American novel") so I thought it would be easy to set up a blog and record the daily trials and tribulations of new parents and new baby. And this was of course the same thought that many, many other past and current writers and bloggers have had when they, too, became new parents.
So in those first couple of crazy weeks, once I was off the Percocet (C-section recovery), I sat up late at night a couple of times with my laptop trying to just record some of those trials and tribulations - and I just couldn't write anything that was worth anything - so I let it go. Instead of writing, I read a lot - several parenting books and excerpts from a couple of "inspirational motherhood books" and just general modern fiction. And a few months later, when we moved to Erie, PA for my new job, I did start a journal of sorts - a handwritten journal, and I started at least writing down various things of note, some of great import (to me) and sometimes just brief recordings of the day's activities - just to record what we were doing.
It's been about 2 years since I started that handwritten journal and I've recently been inspired to start writing this blog by a journalist at the Erie Times-News, where I run the website, GoErie.com. Gerry, the journalist, and his wife Erica, recently adopted their new baby girl and Gerry has shared his own take on parenthood in a couple of weekly columns. Gerry and I have also had some chats in the hall, around an old fashioned water fountain (in lieu of the cooler) about the various facets of parenthood. Part of what prompted these conversations was my inquiring about how Gerry and Erica were doing in the early days of being new parents and also Gerry letting me know when he had written a column on life with their Nora. Gerry's articles have been full of genuine emotion about having his new daughter, and his expression of his thoughts and the depth of feelings he reports has resonated with me. I let Gerry know that I felt more parent to parent connection through his writing that the scores of other parent resources I have read in the past two years. I told him about my desires to write about my experiences and about my handwritten and sporadic journaling. Through these dialogues, Gerry has kindly encouraged me to "write it down" but in this format - a place where it may be physically easier to write but also a place where I may express the depth of emotions that I feel every day about being Beckett's parent, being Beckett's Mama, being Beckett's friend.
So I have decided to start a more official account of my life as a parent and more specifically as Beckett's Mama and friend. Much more to come, but for now, here's to the beginning of posterity.
So in those first couple of crazy weeks, once I was off the Percocet (C-section recovery), I sat up late at night a couple of times with my laptop trying to just record some of those trials and tribulations - and I just couldn't write anything that was worth anything - so I let it go. Instead of writing, I read a lot - several parenting books and excerpts from a couple of "inspirational motherhood books" and just general modern fiction. And a few months later, when we moved to Erie, PA for my new job, I did start a journal of sorts - a handwritten journal, and I started at least writing down various things of note, some of great import (to me) and sometimes just brief recordings of the day's activities - just to record what we were doing.
It's been about 2 years since I started that handwritten journal and I've recently been inspired to start writing this blog by a journalist at the Erie Times-News, where I run the website, GoErie.com. Gerry, the journalist, and his wife Erica, recently adopted their new baby girl and Gerry has shared his own take on parenthood in a couple of weekly columns. Gerry and I have also had some chats in the hall, around an old fashioned water fountain (in lieu of the cooler) about the various facets of parenthood. Part of what prompted these conversations was my inquiring about how Gerry and Erica were doing in the early days of being new parents and also Gerry letting me know when he had written a column on life with their Nora. Gerry's articles have been full of genuine emotion about having his new daughter, and his expression of his thoughts and the depth of feelings he reports has resonated with me. I let Gerry know that I felt more parent to parent connection through his writing that the scores of other parent resources I have read in the past two years. I told him about my desires to write about my experiences and about my handwritten and sporadic journaling. Through these dialogues, Gerry has kindly encouraged me to "write it down" but in this format - a place where it may be physically easier to write but also a place where I may express the depth of emotions that I feel every day about being Beckett's parent, being Beckett's Mama, being Beckett's friend.
So I have decided to start a more official account of my life as a parent and more specifically as Beckett's Mama and friend. Much more to come, but for now, here's to the beginning of posterity.
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